


only fools

by yasi



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Drunken Confessions, F/M, M/M, Misunderstandings, Never Have I Ever, One Night Stands, Pining, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28289574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasi/pseuds/yasi
Summary: Ben and Callum meet at Jay and Lola's engagement party when Ben comes to town just for the occasion. Their night together ends in heartbreak when Callum finds out Ben is in love with Jay. Or is he?
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Jay Brown/Lola Pearce
Comments: 25
Kudos: 67
Collections: Ballum Secret Santa 2020





	only fools

**Author's Note:**

  * For [callumsmitchells](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/gifts).



“I don’t care where we live, as long as the place is open-plan. I don’t like the restraints of closed rooms,” Simons says, smiling hugely. When they first met Callum had thought what a lovely smile. Now all he can think is that’s the last thing he will see before he slowly suffocates and dies. He takes a huge gulp of his beer to hide his grimace.

“I have to go to the little-boys-room,” Simon excuses himself and leaves. Callum turns to the bar and lets his head fall against it repeatedly.

“There are easier ways to kill yourself than slowly braining yourself against a bar, you know?!” says a voice beside Callum, startling him into hitting his head too hard against the bar.

“Ow!!” Callum rubs his forehead and turns to the voice. It belongs to a man. He looks to be Callum’s age, definitely shorter than him and he has dark blond hair. What’s most striking about him are his ice blue eyes, they’re shining with mirth. Callum has to swallow thickly. Not because of the eyes, no. It’s because of the pain. Definitely.

“I—, no, I wasn’t—” he stammers.

“You were not trying to cause yourself brain damage to escape your eager date, then?” the man asks, raising one eyebrow.

“Well,” Callum starts, but deflates quickly. “He seemed nice when we met two weeks ago. Now he’s planning our whole future together. Who does that after two weeks?” Callum asks the other man. He signals the bartender for new drinks for himself and his new friend.

“Not me, mate. I’m not the type,” the man says. Then he offers his hand to Callum. “I’m Ben, by the way.”

“Callum.” He shakes the hand, smiling.

“Wait, are you Lola’s Callum?” Ben asks, turning to him fully.

“Yeah. Wait, how do you know Lola?” Callum asks, confused.

“I’ve known her for ages. I’m Ben Mitchell, Jay’s best friend and best man.”

“Oh, you’re that Ben!” Callum realises. He didn’t know Ben had arrived already. Lola and Jay hadn’t said anything. That’s when he realises that he’s still holding Ben’s hand and lets go.

“Sorry.” He can feel himself blushing and ducks his head. Only to look up again immediately. “Wait, I have a great idea! Can you pretend to be my scary ex and make Simon leave? I don’t think I can take any more of him,” Callum pleads. He knows he sounds a little crazy, but from Lola and Jay’s stories, Ben is supposed to be fun and a little crazy himself. Callum hopes Ben will help him.

“So, the sex is not good enough to put up with all that talking?” Ben asks, grinning.

“God, no!” Callum snorts, and immediately blushes. “I mean, it’s fine, but there is just so much talking, it’s a miracle my ears aren’t bleeding already.”

“Alright, fine. You twisted my arm,” Ben tells him. “Just play along with whatever I say or do.”

Callum nods eagerly. And not too soon, because behind Ben he sees Simon making his way back to the bar.

“Here he comes,” Callum whispers and turns away from Ben. Callum takes up his beer and smiles up at Simon half-heartedly. Not that Simon notices, he smiles brightly and starts talking again. Callum doesn’t listen. He knows he should feel bad about it, but he just doesn’t care about what Simon has to say. He wonders when Ben will come to his rescue and tries not to look over to him. He sighs. Just then a hand settles on his shoulder and Callum turns to see Ben standing beside him. He looks kind of scary, his brows are furrowed, and there is a scowl on his lips.

“Is this the bloke you left me for when I was in prison, Callum?” he asks, his voice deeper now. Callum sees Simon startle in the corner of his eyes and presses his lips together, trying not to smile.

“Well?” Ben asks again, taking a step towards Simon, who leans back in his chair.

“Ben? What are you doing here?” Callum feigns surprise and hopes Simon believes their little charade. “When did you get out of prison?” He puts his hand on Ben’s chest, as if to stop him from taking another step towards Simon.

“This morning. As soon as I was out, I came back. I knew I’d find you here. So, is this him? The one you cheated on me with?”

“Cheated?” Simon asks in a high voice. He’s gone pale, and he keeps blinking uncontrollably.

“I didn’t cheat on you, Ben. I broke up with you when you went inside. Did you think I’d wait for you forever?” Callum lays it on thick.

“You promised me forever, Callum. I won’t let some—,” Ben takes a moment to look Simon up and down, “some pretty boy come between us. You’re mine.”

He takes another step towards Simon, it looks threatening. And that’s it, the moment Simon breaks. He gets up quickly, looks at Callum one last time and just runs out. Ben and Callum stay like that for another moment, waiting to see whether Simon will come back. When he doesn’t, both of them break into laughter, Ben leaning on Callum.

“That was fantastic!” Callum tells Ben between bouts of laughter. “The prison idea was genius!”

“It was the first thing that came to my mind,” Ben shrugs. “And he looked like he’d be the type to scare easily. So, what’s my thanks for rescuing you?” Ben asks and claims Simon’s now empty chair.

Before Callum can answer, Lola and Jay come up to them.

“I see you two have already met,” Jay says with a big smile, interrupting them. Lola is on his arm, smiling just as brightly. They’re both glowing with happiness. Of course, they are, it’s their engagement party. It’s why they’re all here. Callum thinks he wouldn’t mind being that happy one day. His eyes wander from his friends to Ben involuntarily. Ben looks a little more serious now. He gets up and hugs first Jay and then Lola, kissing her on the cheeks.

“We didn’t see you get in,” Lola says to Ben, who just shrugs.

“You guys were talking to people and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“You’d never!” She denies and then turns to Callum. “Where is Simon? I thought you two came together?”

Callum looks at Ben and they burst into laughter again.

“He had to run,” Callum tells them. “It’s not important, though. Tonight is all about you two!”

“And don’t you forget it!” Lola says, making them all laugh.

~*~*~

Callum wakes up slowly, surrounded by warmth. He tries to bury himself into his blanket but is met with something solid. That’s not right, why is there something solid in his bed? Without opening his eyes Callum tries to feel what it is. And touches naked flesh. He pulls his hand away, as if burnt and opens his eyes.

There is a man in Callum’s bed, nestled into his chest, only his short hair and his arm visible over the blanket he’s wrapped in. It takes a moment for Callum’s memories to kick in. The man in his bed is Ben. Ben Mitchell, Jay’s best friend and best man. Whom he’d met last night. _With_ _whom he’d slept last night_. 

Callum blushes furiously as snippets from last night come back to him: their frantic kissing, hands everywhere, pushing and pulling, breathless with laughter. The way Ben had been rough and gentle at the same time, the way Callum had moaned at that thing Ben had done with his tongue.

Callum turns onto his back and covers his face, trying not to die of embarrassment. He’s remembering even more of their night together. How in between the copious amounts of sex they’d talked about personal things, their tongues loosened a little by alcohol.

“Oh God!” Callum groans out, sighing.

“Morning,” Ben says with a gravelly voice, startling Callum nearly out of bed. He blinks at Callum blearily, gathers the blanket around himself, which now leaves only his face visible.

“You okay?” Ben asks. Callum guesses he looks a little worse for wear.

“Yeah,” Callum nods. “You?” He looks at Ben from the corner of his eyes.

Ben takes his time answering. He studies Callum, as if he were looking for something. He nods and finally sits up. Callum follows his example and then leans back on the headboard.

“Never better,” Ben answers, smiling softly. Callum’s eyes fasten on Ben’s throat. There is a dark spot and Callum remembers biting and sucking Ben’s neck as if his life depended on it. He blushes again, ducking his head, scratching at his chin nervously.

Ben follows Callum’s line of sight and touches his neck, hissing slightly when he finds the spot.

“Sorry,” Callum mumbles, feeling a little guilty.

“Don’t be. I would’ve told you if I didn’t like it. It’s just a little tender.”

“Okay,” Callum nods. They sit in silence for a while, just looking at each other. With anyone else Callum would’ve felt awkward, needing to fill the quiet. Not with Ben. With him it feels like they’ve known each other for ages. As if they do this kind of thing often. Callum wouldn’t mind if they did.

“Coffee?” he asks, his eyebrows raised.

“Please!”

“Oh, wait. I don’t have anything to eat in the house… How about we go out to have breakfast? You can have first shower.” Callum smiles.

Ben nods and gets up slowly. He’s completely naked and to Callum’s surprise not one bit ashamed of it. At the door, he stops and turns to look back at Callum.

“You coming?” he asks with a lascivious smile. 

Callum looks at Ben with big eyes, nods, and scrambles after him.

~*~*~

After an enjoyable shower, in which they repeated some of last night’s activities, they find themselves in the caff. Ben tells him his mum used to own it before she sold it and moved to Germany.

“Germany? I’d have thought maybe somewhere warm and by the sea?” Callum asks, bewildered by her choice. He always thought people retired to warm places.

“Oh, it is. She lives in this little picturesque village that is situated by beautiful lake somewhere in southern Bavaria,” Ben explains, sipping his coffee. “She has a big cottage that she runs as a Bed & Breakfast for tourists all year round. She has a good life.” 

“That sounds lovely.”

“I visit her whenever I can. It’s heaven on earth.” Ben says, smiling. It sounds enchanting. Callum wouldn’t mind accompanying Ben on one of his visits. That thought freezes Callum completely. For a moment, all he can do is blink. Ben notices.

“You okay?” he asks, studying Callum closely.

“Yeah, I—”

“There you two are! Why do you have phones when you’re not gonna answer them, ey?!” Jay interrupts them. He fist-bumps with Callum and sits down beside Ben, clapping him on the back.

“Should’ve guessed I'd find you two together, after last night.” Jay grins at them, waggling his eyes. Ben rolls his eyes but there is a soft smile on his face. Callum ducks his head, blushing again. He doesn’t remember when he last blushed this much.

“Yeah, well. What d’you want?” Ben asks, fiddling with his cup. He seems nervous, though Callum doesn’t know why.

Callum excuses himself to go to the loo. Too much tea combined with excitement makes him go more often. When he’s done, Callum washes his hands, all the while looking at himself in the mirror. He looks happy, he thinks. He grins at himself, dries his hands and leaves the bathroom.

Back in the caff, Ben and Jay are leaning close to each other and talking. It looks intimate and he wonders whether he should announce his presence before he interrupts them.

“—in love with you for ages. Ever since we were kids and tried things out with each other, I think. And for the longest time I thought you’re it for me, that you’d magically realise you’re in love with me as well and that we would get together and live happily ever after.” Ben stops. Callum has heard enough even though he wasn’t meant to. He turns around and leaves the caff.

There is something big and hard lodged in his throat. It makes breathing difficult. He tries to swallow it down, but it’s not working. Callum doesn’t know why. It’s not like Ben promised him the world. None of the sweet nothings he’d murmured into Callum’s ears were meant seriously. They were just said in the heat of the moment, to be forgotten after the deed was done.

It’s not like Callum is in love with Ben. That’s ridiculous. They’ve just met last night. They don’t know each other. Callum doesn’t fall for random people who are snarky but in a witty way, with the bluest eyes that can read the very essence of his soul. No, he’s not that kind of person. For fuck’s sake, he’d asked Ben to help him get rid of Simon just for that same reason.

Callum shakes his head. It’s probably the shock of finding out that Ben and Jay had been... had been what? Kids who’d experimented with each other? Why is this surprising? It’s not like Jay had hidden his teenaged fumbling, that he’s bisexual. He’d told Callum that he’d tried things out with a friend and that he’d enjoyed most of those things. But then he’d met Lola and they’d fallen in love and that had been it for Jay. Callum just hadn’t realised that that friend had been Jay’s best friend Ben. With whom Callum had slept last night. Who was still madly in love with Jay.

Callum feels sick. Thank God, it's not too far to his flat where he can have a quiet breakdown on his own. He hurries before anyone can stop him.

~*~*~

It’s an hour later when the doorbell rings, startling Callum out of his sleepy haze. It had taken him a while to calm down. He’d made himself a tea and taken himself to the living room, not ready to face the chaos of the bedroom. Last night’s activities were still too fresh in his mind. He’d turned on the TV and must’ve dozed off, because when he’d first sat down, they’d been fixing old houses. The doorbell rings again, making Callum get up.

“Alright, don’t get your knickers in a twist, I’m coming.” Callum goes to the door buzzer and pushes the button to open the door, not checking who it is. He opens the flat door and returns to his living room, letting himself fall back onto his sofa. Soon enough he hears someone come up and enter his flat. He’s not paying attention to the door, though, because they’re showing weird underwater animals right now and Callum can’t look away. It's like watching a train crash.

“So, this is what you left me for,” Ben says. Callum startles violently, falling off the sofa. He hadn’t expected Ben to come back here. He scrambles up and faces Ben, who is looking at Callum with laughter in his eyes.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Ben takes a step towards Callum but stops when Callum takes a step back.

“I wasn’t scared, you just surprised me. I didn’t expect you to come here,” Callum says, trying to regain his dignity. It’s futile.

“What did you expect me to do?” Ben asks, tilting his head sideways. “You left without saying goodbye.”

“Yeah, well. I was tired, and you seemed busy.” Calum shrugs, looking everywhere but at Ben.

“It was just Jay—”

“Was there something you wanted?” Callum interrupts him, not wanting to hear more about Jay from Ben.

“I’m leaving soon,” Ben says after a long moment and licks his lips. Callum remembers what those lips tasted like, how they felt on his body. He shakes his head; this is not the time for it.

“I wanted to ask if we could exchange numbers,” Ben ask softly, his right hand going up to scratch at his head. Callum freezes. This is not what he’d expected. Ben seems almost shy, the complete opposite of how he’d been last night. This doesn’t make sense.

“I don’t—,” Callum stops himself from saying more. _I don’t want to be your second choice; I don’t want to be the consolation price just because you can’t have Jay._

“I thought last night was just a one-time thing,” Callum forces himself to say. His voice is almost steady, Ben would never know difficult this is for Callum.

“Well, I had fun. And you seemed to enjoy it as well. I thought we might keep in—”

“No,” Callum says, not giving Ben the chance to finish his sentence. “No, thank you. I’m not interested. Simon was a bit much, I don’t want something new.” Ben wants to say something, but Callum just goes on.

“Last night was fun but I’m not looking for anything. Have a safe trip back.” Callum gives Ben a barely there smile and then makes himself turn his back to Ben and sits down on his sofa. The dismissal is loud and clear.

It doesn’t take long for Ben to leave, the door rattling in its hinges when it closes, making Callum cringe. He lets out a breath and closes his eyes. It’s for the best. What future could they have if Ben is still in love with Jay?

Callum knows he’s a hypocrite. He’d run off Simon for being all in too soon and yet he’d gone and fallen in love with a guy in one night. He wants to be everything for Ben or nothing at all. His heart can’t handle being second choice, being a consolation price. He closes his eyes against the tears that are threatening to fall.

5 MONTHS LATER

“See, you don’t meet someone and think to yourself this will be the one I’ll fall in love with. No, you think he looks good and I wouldn’t mind getting to know him some more. And then you do and he’s witty and charming, but also honest and real. And you have a fantastic night together with loads of mind-blowing sex. And you think, oh hey, there might be something I didn’t realise between us but then you find out that he’s hopelessly in love with his best friend and you were just the distraction and your heart breaks and all you wanna do is hide away from the world. Particularly from your friends, who are planning to get married very soon. You know what I mean?” Callum stops his rambling and turns to look at his companion. He takes a sip of his drink; his throat feels dry.

“No,” says… James? Callum doesn’t remember his name. He takes up his drink from the table and leaves Callum to his own devices. Callum sighs and takes a bigger swallow of his drink. Before he can get maudlin again, Jay comes back, bumping their shoulders in greeting.

“How did you manage to scare him off so fast? He looked interested before you two started talking, like he wanted to climb you like a tree,” Jay asks, sitting down across from Callum.

“Dunno,” Callus mumbles into his drink, shrugging. “Maybe he didn’t like how I looked up close?”

Jay puts down his drink and turns fully towards Callum.

“You can’t go on like this, Callum. Whatever happened between you and Ben—”

“Nothing happened. Well, yes, the one-night-stand. But, no,” Callum interrupts himself, finishing off his drink. “You’re the last person I wanna talk about this. Where is Lo? I want Lo!” He looks around, not seeing her.

“She’s outside, talking to someone on the phone,” Jay tells him. “And what do you mean, I’m the last person you wanna talk about this? What did _I_ do?”

“Just forget it, okay.” Callum gets up to get another drink. “I need another drink. You want one, too?”

“Nah, you’re alright,” Jay tells him, gesturing to his nearly full bottle. Right, he’d just gone to get himself and Lola a drink and had left Callum alone with.. Jared? Callum shakes his head and turns to the bar. He can feel Jay’s piercing gaze in his back. This is gonna be a long night. He needs more alcohol.

~*~*~

“What kind of friend are you, Jay? To let me drink this much?” Callum knows he’s whining, but his head is throbbing, despite the strong painkillers he’d taken. His stomach still feels like it’s gonna turn over if Callum moves even just a little bit. Thank God he’s not had any breakfast yet. Just thinking about it makes him groan, and Callum is once again lost in a cycle of pain and nausea thanks to his hangover.

“I tried to stop you, but then Lola came in you both said you needed to sample all the drinks before you could commit to the venue.” Jay laughs. Callum vaguely remembers having said something like that.

“I hope Lola feels just as bad,” Callum says and groans into his arms.

“Oh, she does. She’s at home, cursing your name.” Jay doesn’t say anything for a moment. Callum is thankful for the quiet.

“You know what the best part of the night was, though?” Jay asks but doesn’t wait for an answer. “How you said you were drinking to forget the one-night-stand that happened months ago.” Jay laughs again.

“I did what?” Callum asks, horrified, his head shooting up from his arms, looking at Jay from big eyes. Only to groan again because of his pounding headache.

“You were going on about how gorgeous Ben is and what an attentive lover he was.” He stops there and wrinkles his mouth. “That I didn’t need to hear, by the way. But then you went on about how you were already halfway to being in love with him but that it didn’t matter anyway because Ben was in love with someone else?”

“I did not,” Callum says quietly, slowly straightening up. His head is still throbbing, but this conversation is taking a turn he’s not liking. 

“Oh, but you did, my friend. Lola can attest to it! And then you two went on and got plastered like there was no tomorrow.” Jay shrugs, grinning a little evilly. “It’s not like we were out scouting a bar for our joint stag and hen do, right?”

“Oh God!” Callum covers his face, nearly poking his eye. Urgh, he’s even clumsier when he is hung over. “I’m sorry!” He sighs. “Please don’t tell Ben.” Callum peaks between his fingers, trying to read Jay’s mood.

“What, that you’re in love with him?” Jay asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yes, I mean, no.” Callum shakes his head, still heavy, still hurting. He just hopes he didn’t let it slip that he knows that Jay is the one Ben is in love with. He already feels embarrassed beyond measure. That would be the last nail on his coffin. He’d have to leave town, find somewhere new to live, new friends. Yes, he’s being dramatic. So what? His brain hurts. Callum lets his head fall onto his hands, trying to hide. This is not his year.

Jay just laughs. The tousles Callum’s hair on his way out. The loud bang of the door reverberates in Callum’s head like a loud gunshot. He shudders and closes his eyes.

~*~*~

The closer Lola and Jay’s wedding gets, the more jittery Callum becomes. He knows Ben will be back for the wedding. He doesn’t know if he’ll be back for the joint stag and hen do or if he’s coming on the day of the wedding. Callum would like to say he doesn’t care but on the contrary. He cares, too much even. He wants to see Ben again. That face, those eyes. He wants to speak to him again. Wants to hear his voice. At the same time, he wants Ben to stay far away for the sake of his heart. He can’t watch Ben pine away for Jay while he himself pines for Ben.

And yet, he knows he’ll have to get over it. He’s Lola’s best man and Ben is Jay’s. They’ll have to spend a big portion of the wedding day in each other’s company. Callum can be a grown up about this, right? He can do what needs to be done. He can be civil towards Ben, smile for the photographs and after the wedding he won’t ever have to see Ben again. He can get over him, finally.

Yeah, dream on, Callum thinks and bangs his head against a wall softly.

~*~*~

It’s the day of the joint stag and hen do, and Callum is a nervous wreck. Lola had told him last night that Ben had messaged them. He had managed to get off earlier than expected and would be present for tonight.

Callum had helped Jay and Lola come up with a plan for the night. Ben had sent Jay a few game ideas that they would play throughout the night. They’d start with drinks at Jay and Lola’s place, starting with a simple game. Then they’d move on to their local pub, the Queen Vic and after that they’d move to the bar Callum and Lola had gotten plastered at. If there is one thing Callum remembers of that night, it’s that they had very good cocktails and he needs that for tonight.

~*~*~

Callum tries not to pay too much attention to his clothes when he gets ready for tonight, but he can’t help it. He pulls out the pale blue shirt he knows complements his eyes and combines it with a pair of black tight jeans. Sometimes he likes showing off what he’s got. He styles his hair carefully and puts on some cologne. He distinctly remembers Ben telling him he liked the way he smelt.

Callum shakes his head, he’s not doing this for Ben, no. Maybe he’ll meet someone while they’re out. That way he can show Ben he is over him. Not that Ben knows Callum has any feelings for him. Callum hopes Jay hasn’t told him about Callum’s drunken ramblings. He looks into the mirror one last time, tries to smile at himself. He gives up, sighing. Time to face the music.

~*~*~

It’s Ben who opens the door when Callum arrives at Jay and Lola’s place.

“Callum, hi,” Ben greets him with a warm smile.

“Ben...” Callum feels unprepared to face Ben, he didn’t expect him to be here already. Ben looks just as good as Callum remembers. He’s wearing black slacks with a dark blue shirt that sets off his eyes. He’d avoided stalking Ben on social media, so this is the first time Callum sees him since that morning in his flat. Callum still feels the pull of Ben’s body, still wants to be near him. He shakes his head.

“Uh, yeah, hi.”

“Come in.” Ben moves to the side and opens the door a little wider, but only so far that Callum has to brush past Ben when he gets in. Callum shudders and quickens his step. In the living room, there are only Lola and Jay. Jay is sitting in an armchair, with Lola on his lap. They’re glowing, the way they always seem to do these days, this close to the wedding. Lola turns when Callum enters, smiling up at him brightly.

“Callum!” She gets up and hugs him. “Oh, you smell good,” she notices, letting go of him. Callum blushes and tries not to look at Ben, who has come in as well.

“You do,” Jay agrees, when he comes up to greet Callum. Callum ignores them both and sits down.

“When are the others coming?” he asks into the room.

“The girls just texted me, they should be here soon.” Lola tells him.

“Here,” Ben hands him a beer bottle, sitting down at the other end of the sofa.

“Thanks,” Callum mumbles, trying not to look at him. He feels like Jay and Lola will jump at it the minute he looks at Ben for too long. He’d love nothing more than to get drunk and forget everything around him, but with Ben here, he needs a clear head. The thing is Callum doesn’t even like getting drunk. That one night with Lola had been the first time since he was a teenager. He sighs quietly. The things he does because of Ben.

“We were just talking about the first game of the night,” Jay tells Callum, making him look up. “I wanted to start with _Never Have I Ever_ , but Ben thinks that one will be funnier later in the evening.

“How about the _Mr. & Mrs-Game_? If we play it now, you’ll be sober enough to remember the right answers,” Callum asks, grinning at Lola.

“No, I taught him well. He’ll know all the answers, right, Jay?” Lola grins back at him, snuggling closer to Jay.

Callum hopes seeing them like this won’t make Ben feel bad. He should be used to it by now, right? Jay and Lola have been together for years now. He wants to look over at Ben, but just remembers that it’s not a good idea for his own peace of mind. Jay notices his abrupt movement; he raises an eyebrow at Callum. Callum shakes his head, not wanting to get into it now. And not with him anyway.

Not long after the others arrive in a flurry of noise and laughter. The living room is bursting with people in a matter of minutes. Callum gets up to make space for one of Lola’s girlfriends and finds himself suddenly standing in a corner with Ben, both of them looking out at the mixed group of people.

“I bet you’re glad not to have to spend the whole evening just with the ladies,” Ben says quietly.

“You have no idea!” Callum admits. “I love Lola and I love spending time with her. But her friends are something else. You don’t wanna be left alone with them when they’re drunk.” Callum shudders, remembering the last time he’d tagged along with Lola and the girls.

“I didn’t realise you scared that easily.” Ben laughs softly, turning away from the women to hide his laughter.

“Yeah, well,” Callum blushes. “Let’s see how you feel about them after tonight!”

They’re both quiet for a while, watching everyone settle down. Again, Callum realises that he doesn’t mind the silence with Ben. He tries to get an unobtrusive look at him and finds Ben already looking at him, something unreadable on his face. Callum ducks his head and looks away.

When everyone is seated or has at least a drink in hand, Callum steels himself. It’s time to get the night started properly. He steps up to Jay and Lola and holds his bottle up, the others slowly quieting down.

“Thank you all for coming tonight! We’ll have a few drinks here, play our first game and then move on the Queen Vic. But before we do that, I’d like to say a few words about my best friend.” Callum turns to Lola. He can feel a knot forming in his throat, already emotional.

“Lola, when I first met you, I was afraid of you, especially of your gobby mouth. I was afraid you’d chew me out and spit me out in front of everyone. But then I got to know you and your big heart and your wonderful personality. I’m forever thankful to whatever deity is out there that brought us together and made you my best friend.” Lola mouths _I love you_ at him, tears glistening in her eyes.

“Jay, mate, you treat her right or you’ll have me to deal with. Not that I doubt you’ll treat her like the queen she is. Everyone here can see how much you two love each other. Here’s to both of you!” Callum clinks his bottle with Lola and Jay’s.

“Well,” Ben says behind Callum, coming up to the front to stand beside him. “I don’t think I can top that speech. You all know that Jay has been my best mate forever. Before Lola came along, it was just the two of us against the world. The stupid things we got up to. You don’t want to know how many times we got each other into trouble. Our parents would separate us, give us house arrest, but we’d sneak out and cause more trouble.” Ben stops for a moment. He and Jay smile at each other softly and Callum feels his heart break for Ben. How much this must hurt him. To watch his first love get married to someone else.

“But then this, as Callum said,” Ben gives Callum a quick smile and turns back to Jay and Lola, “gobby mouthed young girl moved to the square and our life changed forever. She was what Jay needed to turn him into a man. Thank you for making my best mate happy, Lola. I love you both!” Lola and Jay both get up and give Ben lingering hugs. Jay whispers something into Ben’s ear but Callum can’t make it out. Their eyes meet over Ben’s shoulder. Callum has to turn away, his heart aching.

“Okay, that’s enough tears for tonight, save some for tomorrow,” Ben says, having let go of Jay and Lola. “Now, the first game we’re gonna play is _Mr. & Mrs_. I believe someone already prepared questions with Lola?” Ben looks around the room.

“Yup,” Callum says, taking out the answers from his back pocket. He holds them up. “Here they are.” Ben nods to him.

“Now, these are the rules: for every wrong answer, Jay has to pay for a round of drinks for everyone,” Ben explains gleefully. “If he gets an answer right, it’s Lola who has to buy a round.” Lola boos, making everyone laugh.

“You see, no matter what these two do, we’re winning tonight! Callum? You wanna start us off?”

“Sure. Okay, this is an easy one, Jay: What did she say is your worst habit?” Callum asks, already laughing.

~*~*~

Despite what he’s feared, Callum is having a good time. At first, he’d tried to stay away from Ben, but them both being best man to the bride and groom meant that they had to stay close to each. They needed to coordinate when to play which game and when to move on to a new location.

Callum had thought seeing Ben again and spending time with him would be heart-breaking, but it’s not. It’s the opposite. He’d known all those months back that Ben was something else, that he was special, and he’d been right. 

They stay in each other’s orbit most of the night. Callum notices that Ben doesn’t overindulge in alcohol. He either nurses his beer or drinks water. He wonders if he’s trying to keep sober because of his feelings for Jay.

And as the night goes on, Callum feels them getting closer to each other again. Ben touches him more often and Callum catches himself doing the same. And every little touch leaves a tingling sensation behind, slowly igniting a fire in his body.

They’re all sitting at a large table in their last bar for tonight, nearly all of them drunk. Callum is sitting across from Ben, their feet getting tangled every now and then, making Callum blush. They'd just started playing _Never Have I Ever_ , and it is Jays turn.

“Never have I ever...” Jay looks at Lola and they both grin at each other. Callum has a bad feeling about this.

“Never have I ever had a one-night-stand,” Jay says playfully and stops. Almost everyone out of their group wants to take a shot, but Jay stops them.

“I wasn’t finished! Never have I ever had a one-night-stand and fell in love with them afterwards! Ha, didn’t expect that, did you!”

A couple people groan and take a shot. Everyone else puts down their shot glass. Callum knows he’s flushing but he’s not sure whether it’s from embarrassment or anger. He swallows the curse that’s on the tip of his tongue, picks up his shot glass and drowns it in one go. It burns his throat on the way down and then settles in his stomach pleasantly. He tries not to look at Ben, but it’s a lost cause. 

That’s when Callum realises that Ben is looking at him. This time he’s blushing in embarrassment. But Ben isn’t looking at him with pity. It’s something else. He looks determined. He holds Callum’s gaze and slowly brings his shot glass up and downs it, never breaking their eye-contact.

For a moment Callum doesn’t know what to do. He knows his eyes are blown wide and his mouth is hanging open. He wants to say something, anything, but he’s lost the ability to talk.

This is a dream. Ben can’t mean him; he must have had countless one-night-stands after him. Because Callum had heard him, that morning after the engagement party. He’d told Jay that he’d always love him, no matter what.

Callum turns to Jay, who looks pleased with himself. When he catches Callum’s look, he waggles his eyebrows. Callum frowns and looks back to Ben. Who isn’t sitting across from him anymore. Before Callum can look around, a hand settles on Callum’s shoulder. It’s Ben.

“Do you have a minute?” Ben asks. He’s leaning down and Callum can feel his breath on his ear. It makes him shudder. He nods and waits for Ben to take a step back, so he can get up. Ben puts his hand on the small of Callum’s back and leads him through the people mingling around. Callum thinks they’ll go to the bar or the cloakroom, but Ben leads him outside.

It’s a warm summer’s night and the sky is just starting to darken. They don’t walk too far from the bar, just away from the smokers, so they can talk in private without suffocating.

Ben stops and leans back on the house wall, looking at Callum from half-lidded eyes. His cheeks are flushed from the heat of the bar; he’s biting down on his bottom lip, making it plum up. It makes him look debauched.

Callum is hit by such an intense feeling of want, a desperate need to touch, it makes him stumble towards Ben. When he realises what he is about to do, he stops himself. His heart beats loudly in his ears, his breath coming out in shallow gasps. Callum is barely holding himself in check. But he can’t put himself out there without knowing the truth. He won’t. 

But Ben doesn’t say anything, he just looks at Callum. Time to be brave then, Callum thinks and takes a deep breath.

“You and Jay?” he asks. He doesn’t need to say more; Ben knows what he means.

“We’re just friends. Always have been.” 

“But you’re in love with him.” Callum tries to talk around the big lump in this throat. “You told him you’d always love him.”

Ben frowns.

“You told him in the caff, after we—”

“After we slept together and poured our hearts out to each other?” Ben asks, straightening up. He takes a step towards Callum. Callum nods.

“Eavesdropping is a bad habit, Callum.” Ben shakes his head. “You should’ve stayed to listen to the rest of our talk, though. Yes, I told Jay that I’d always love him, but we’ve been friends since we were little kids. He’s my best friend, of course I love him. But I’m not in love with him. For the longest time I thought I was. It’s why I moved away from here. I thought I couldn’t watch Jay and Lola grow closer. But in truth I was tired of being here, of being me. I wanted to get out, see the world. Live my life for myself. And that’s what I did. I grew up, ready to experience new things.” Ben is now standing in front of Callum. His shorter built has him looking up at Callum, his gaze intense.

“I told him that the night with you had been great and that I’d like to explore whatever this thing between us could be.” Ben says it so quietly that Callum has to lean down a little to hear him better. He closes his eyes, feeling like a fool. He should’ve stayed or at least given Ben the chance to explain things.

“I’m sorry,” Callum whispers, his eyes still closed. “I just didn’t want to be a consolation price when your true love was someone else. I wanted you to want me for me not because you thought you couldn’t have Jay.”

“I know,” Ben says. “Jay told me all about your drunken ramblings.”

Callum takes a step back and opens his eyes, looking at Ben in horror.

“He didn’t!”

“Oh yes, he did,” Ben affirms with laughter in his voice. Not pity or mockery, as Callum had feared.

“Oh God, this is too much. Maybe the earth can open up and swallow me down.” Callum turns his back to Ben. He wants to hide; he feels too embarrassed.

“No, Callum. Don’t you see? If he hadn’t told me I would’ve thought you regretted our night together. I didn’t understand why you went so cold on me that day five months ago. And Jay couldn’t tell me either.”

“Now please. Just—” Ben turns Callum around, holding his hands. His grip is steady, his hands feel warm.

For a moment neither of them says anything. They just look at each other, both trying to read the other. Callum feels too many things at once, his head a jumbled chaos of thoughts. But he knows one thing. He wants Ben. And Ben wants him. 

“Will you kiss me?” he asks quietly. Ben’s eyes widen but there is also a big smile on his face. Callum smiles back at him.

Ben’s hand comes up to caress his cheek, then settles in his nape firmly. Gently, almost carefully, he pulls Callum’s face to his and their lips brush for the barest moment. That little touch makes Callum shudder and want pools in his stomach. He crowds Ben back to the wall and presses him back hard, holding him in place. Then he kisses Ben with the desperate hunger of the last months. He could’ve had this all along if he hadn’t been an idiot. If he’d just let Ben speak. But they finally got there and Callum is fine with that. From far away, Callum hears louds whoops, but he doesn’t pay them any mind. Because he’s kissing Ben again. And if kissing Ben is the last thing Callum does, he’ll die happy.

Finally, the need for breath breaks them apart. Callum’s eyes roam over Ben’s face. It’s gorgeously flushed, his lips wet from their kisses, his eyes glassy. He’s panting, just as Callum.

“I’ve missed you,” Callum whispers against his lips. “I’ve missed kissing you.” He dives in for another kiss, not giving Ben the chance to say anything.

~*~*~

Callum wakes up in a cocoon of warmth, a solid body pressed to his. It’s too warm coupled with the summer heat, but he doesn’t care. When he opens his eyes, he finds Ben cuddled into him, his breath gently fanning over Callum’s chest.

Callum feels his heart swell when he remembers last night. They’d kissed for the longest time outside of the bar before Ben had decided he wanted Callum to take him home. He’d sent Jay a text and then pulled Callum away. Back at Callum’s flat, they’d taken their time undressing each other. Callum had looked his fill, trying to burn the image of Ben into his mind forever.

Last night had been different than their first night together. But a good different. The giddy excitement had made way for knowing and deliberate touches. It had excited Callum in a different way. It had been like coming home.

“Hmm, I can hear you think, you know,” Ben murmurs into his chest.

“Yeah?” Callum smiles.

“Yeah. You’re thinking that I’m gorgeous and you’re the luckiest man on earth. And that you wanna get up and make me breakfast.”

Callum laughs loudly, his whole body moving and with it Ben.

“Almost,” Callum says, when he’s calmed down a little. “I was thinking we should get up soon and get ready for the wedding. Check in on Jay and Lola.” Callum kisses Ben’s hair and pretends to get up. Ben is not having it, though. He presses Callum back to bed.

“Not right now, Cal. I need cuddles first. You can get up in a bit.” Ben settles down, his head on Callum’s chest. Callum takes Ben’s hand in his and intertwines their fingers.

I could get used to this kind of happiness, Callum thinks.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos feed the muse 💖


End file.
